Parenting in the Digitized Age
Are you concerned that your children spend too much time on mobile devices, keeping them from having real interactions and experiences?
Are you worried that your children are being exposed to unwanted attention online?
Are you anxious about your children’s safety but aren’t sure if handing them a mobile phone is the appropriate solution?
Are you confused when the right age is to hand over a smartphone to your child? You are not alone.
A research paper called - “Age of first smartphone and mental well being outcome” suggested that there is a strong correlation between the age of owning a mobile phone and one’s sense of social self. To put it in layman terms - the earlier a phone is given to a child, the less social they become.
Studies show that children as young as 2 years old, should have zero screen time exposure, so as to limit the influence of jazzy screens on their mental and emotional development.
It is suggested that children over 2 years can be shown screens for a limited period of 30-45 minutes per day. Elementary students (classes 1-5) who spend more than two hours a day watching TV, playing video games or using a computer or smartphone are more likely to have emotional, social and attention problems.
At the onset, these limitations seem doable, appropriate and even helpful, but as busy parents, who have a day job and a passion project to work on, mobile phones, smart TVs and Tablet screens immediately come to our rescue when young and growing children demand our undivided attention. Giving them a mobile phone to play a game on, for a mere half hour seems like an easy way out, especially when we, parents can get so much done in those 30 minutes.
As children grow older, it is impossible to keep them away from smart devices, especially when the schools conduct online classes. It is no secret that there has been a significant increase in use of smartphones by students in the post pandemic era. The online screen time spent was once limited to a Personal Computer at home, but now due to convenience and ease of access it has spread to the mobile phones, tablets and all kinds of smart gadgets.
Handing out a phone to a growing child has become a necessary evil and eventually every family comes to terms with it. It’s just a matter of personal preference, at what age a child can own a personal device. Every student has to own a smart device. There are no two ways about it.
A survey conducted by a leading newspaper, Times of India concluded that 55% of the students aged between 9-13 years and 71% of the students aged between 14-16 years have access to smartphones.
But here’s a fact that we thought is interesting.
Out of 100 students that own a mobile phone on the premise of studying, only 34 use them. The remaining 66 students who own a phone, use it for miscellaneous reasons including being on social media and playing online. This means that more than half of the Indian youth aged 9-17 spend at least 6 hours per day on social media and gaming platforms.
So, how does it affect the children?
It starts small with irregular sleep schedules, increased risk of obesity, stiffness in the neck and back pains before it turns into something bigger with issues like - impaired academic performance, isolation, depression, cyberbullying and even mobile phone addictions.
91% children feel anxious when they are away from their phones.
87% children feel an inferiority complex if they don’t own a phone.
84% children exhibit long periods of silence when they are on smartphones while spending time together with their families.
90% of children feel lonely even though they have a lot of friends on social media.
While it's abundantly clear that one must exhibit caution while handing over a phone to a child, it is not a one way street. As parents we too are equally at fault.
We have some mind boggling facts to put things in perspective.
On average, parents spend nearly two hours with their children, but 75% of parents admit to using their phones during this time. Three out of four children frequently voice their apprehensions about their parents devoting excessive attention to their phones when they are together.
A recent study published in Economic Times presented these stats that might help you come to a decision.
About 90% of parents sometimes get irritated when their kids ask something when they are immersed in smartphones and 93% Parents feel guilty about the quality of their relationship with their children due to smartphone usage.
And finally, here’s a fact that will hurt you the most - Almost all the children feel guilty about the quality of their relationship with their parents. They also feel lonely because of their parents’ smartphone usage.
We understand that parenting is not an easy job. What makes it even more difficult is that there are no set rules for it. But this digitized age calls for a more nuanced approach to handling sensitive issues and an increased use of smartphones.
Here are a few tips that can help you establish some ground rules and healthy routines at home.
Set regular times of communicating with your children. It can be the first thing in the morning at the breakfast table to prepare them for the day ahead or the last thing in the night before they are off to sleep. Check with them how their day was. Share your day with them. Ask for their opinions before you advise them on something. Include storytelling to emphasize on certain values if they are younger children. Confide in them about your issues and achievements at work. Give them a peek into your lives and they will open the doors to theirs.
Children love to help their parents, especially if they believe that they are contributing something for the family. Share your household workload with your children - big or small. Younger children can be asked to keep you company as you go about doing your chores while older children can assist you. Doing a family project or helping around in the house is the quickest and easiest way to inculcate responsibility in them.
Children who have electronics in their bedrooms watch more than children who don't have these in their bedrooms. Monitor your children’s screen time and the websites they visit by keeping TVs and computers in a common area in your house.
Eating or snacking in front of electronic devices increases one’s screen time. The habit also encourages mindless munching, which can lead to weight gain.
Have your child stretch or do yoga while watching a show. Challenge your family to see who can do the most jumping jacks during a commercial break. Choose video games that encourage physical activity.
Whenever possible, watch programs together and talk about what you see, such as family values, violence or drug abuse. If you see a junk food ad, explain that just because it's on TV doesn't mean it's good for you.
Instead of flipping through channels, seek quality videos or programming. Consider using parental control settings on your TV and computers. Preview video games and smartphone applications before allowing your child to play with them.
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